Mamaste by Lori Bregman

Author:Lori Bregman [Bregman, Lori and Cary, Ursula]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Chronicle Books LLC
Published: 2019-05-03T16:00:00+00:00

HOW TO RELATE WHEN A REBEL RULES

Think about how small children interact with each other at the playground—they rarely “tell” each other what they’re doing; they “show” each other simply by doing and following each other’s leads. For Rebel Mamas, who resist any level of authority, it’s critical to shift your approach so they can trust and follow you instead of resisting and battling you. When I work with my Rebel Mamas, I like to “plant seeds” by simply sharing stories, not giving advice. Speaking from a place of sharing and storytelling is a great way to communicate with Rebel Mamas. Instead of suggesting, “You should try an art class,” try something like, “I went to this amazing art class with my kids, and we used elements in nature to create collages—it was so fun! We learned all about local plants.” If your Rebel Mama is interested, she may start asking questions or just sign up for the next class. Or she may invite you over for a nature class in her own backyard! Rebel Mamas do well with this kind of seed-planting, and letting those seeds sprout in their own time and way.

Jackie, one of my Action Mamas, had signed up for a Mommy and Me yoga class at my suggestion. She really struggled with perfectionism and constantly worried whether she was doing the right thing. I thought yoga would help her invite openness into her life. In the first class, as she settled in with her baby, mat, and blankets, she noticed a woman walk in with a presence that turned everyone’s heads. Sasha, a true Rebel Mama, strode into the room wearing pajama bottoms and a mismatched top, with blue streaks in her messy topknot. She plopped down on the floor with her baby (wearing just a diaper) and whipped out her boob to nurse. Jackie was horrified. Who goes out in public like that? It may be warm, but where are your baby’s clothes?!

During class, Jackie watched as Sasha expertly moved through the yoga poses with her newborn, gently and softly singing to the baby. Despite the way she looked to Jackie, she was a terrific mother, and she seemed to get more joy out of the class than anyone else. As everyone relaxed in namaste, Jackie smelled something familiar and foul—she looked over to see Sasha struggling with a massive diaper blowout. “I left my bag at home, and he already pooped all over the outfit I had him in earlier!” she whispered.

Are you kidding me? Left it at home? How irresponsible! “Judge” Jackie first thought. But then, something magical happened. She remembered when she’d forgotten something or felt overwhelmed. She offered Sasha a diaper and an extra change of clothes (of course she had packed three, just in case). Her simple act of empathy and kindness made both women smile, and they felt an unexpected connection, however momentarily, as kindred mom-spirits.

Rebels can often seem intimidating or unreachable because they stand so strongly in their own truths.

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